I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
