I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
