Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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