so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
