In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
