I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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