And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize