Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
