So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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