Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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