please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
