I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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