so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
