Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
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