i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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