I'm gonna have a badass scar
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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