who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
