I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
