There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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