obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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