I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
