operation have a gay friend backfired
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
