you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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