he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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