you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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