the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
