apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
