WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i wish my penis had a tongue
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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