evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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