just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
