when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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