I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
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