A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
There r osticjed everywhere
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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