Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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