brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
