I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize