Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
