well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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