pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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