Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
