i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
