I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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