What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
