I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
