I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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