Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
