I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You know, be my cock's hype man.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
