bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize
