dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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