He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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