girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
