Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize