Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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