Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
