tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize