Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I want to be your penis for a week.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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