shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
