btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
