Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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