Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
