You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
