After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
