Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I think a kid would responsible me up
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
