It's Friday. Sex?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
