i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
