It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
