i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
